Again, nothing

Sadness, on a really gorgeous day.  Another day with no word from immigration on our newest paperwork submission.  I've been praying, daily, that it will happen, today and still nothing.

Discouraged...well, that's one word.  There are several other words that I have but none need to be aired out on the internet.

It is hard to see, day after day, posts/emails/etc about successful adoptions that have little to no issues.  We have worked so hard, we've learned so much and yet our son is still not home.  I'm not sure what the Lord is doing, but I pray that He is working this all out for His glory.  I *am* happy, somewhere inside for these families.  I just wish this story was our story.  I've distanced myself from people to guard my heart and my sanity.  I truly hope they understand.

I feel like I hear, one day, "we're adopting".  Two days go by "we have a referral".  Two more days go by, "We were approved by immigration."  Two more days go by, "We are traveling next week." and before you know it, the child has been home a month and the same family is doing this all over again because it was "so wonderful" the first time around.

Our story is:

We're adopting.
days weeks months
We have a referral.
days weeks months
We are traveling for court.  Adoption is finalized.
Next day immigration 'we need more stuff from you'
days weeks months
We are intending to deny you.  You should've never traveled in the first place.
days weeks months
Denial.
days weeks months
Attorney hired, job for me, life change for kids, new home study
days weeks months
homestudy done..waiting on attorney.
days weeks months
waiting on attorney
days weeks months
attorney sends paperwork (we pay lots more money)
1 week
immigration wants MORE evidence
days weeks months
got evidence, sent off again
over a year later.....WE ARE STILL WAITING.

I'm tired.  I have little fight left in me.  I had one "friend" tell me that due to us having "so" much trouble, that must mean that God doesn't want him to be in our family.  I wanted to smack the taste out of her mouth.  I need no negativity.  I need prayers, regardless of the outcome.  I eat, sleep, breathe, work with my son's face in my head.  Praying, daily that God will show us all the way and for a person to say that, well, they needed to be smacked.

What God has brought us too....He will be FAITHFUL to bring us through.

I cling to that.

Until then....we wait.